(Source: would-ya-blow-me-if-i)
setting realistic goals for my future
(Source: pandoricaponds)
so this morning my dad said
“hey we got some tomatos”
and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS
WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS
JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING
SWEET MOTHER MARY OF TOMATOES
boys who can pull off facial hair are hot
i think you’re supposed to use a razor
they saw the chance
they took the chance
(Source: tastefullyoffensive)
A police dog searches you for weed and pulls it out of your back pocket.. you think ‘fuck’ and start planning your excuse until the dog starts lighting a blunt, gives you a wink and says ‘yo thanks dude’
What?
A police dog searches you for weed and pulls it out of your back pocket.. you think ‘fuck’ and start planning your excuse until the dog starts lighting a blunt, gives you a wink and says ‘yo thanks dude’
how am i supposed to concentrate in science when whENEVER I LOOK TO THE LEFT I SEE THIS
AT LEAST YOU DON”T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS
AT LEAST YOU DONT HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO THIS
what
(Source: madturbating)
IM JUST TRYING TO SPELL POMEGRANATES
i changed the settings on my moms phone so that when she types my name it changes to ‘my favorite child’ and when she types a swear, it changes it to something more family friendly
(Source: rnilkbreath)
